Insomnia

Insomnia, according to American psychiatric association (APA), is the disorder in which people have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. It is the most common sleeping disorder. The conditions of insomnia can be short term and long term. The short term insomnia, also called acute insomnia, is most probably caused due to stress upsetting automatic events changes in sleeping habits. It lasts for one night to a few weeks. Whereas, Chronic insomnia lasts for at least three months. It is mainly caused due to medical conditions (arthritis, heartburn, cancer, back pain), psychological issues (anxiety, depression), and substance abuse.

Insomnia is most common in people who have high level of stress, lower income, emotional disorders, changes in working hours, night shifts, or are struggling with cardiovascular disorders and obesity. Insomnia affects women and older people more than men and young individuals.

SYMPTOMS OF INSOMNIA :

Waking up too early in the morning
Unrefreshing sleep
Trouble falling or staying asleep
Irritability
Fatigue
Mood changes
Difficulty concentrating on tasks
Daytime tiredness and sleepiness

There are two types of insomnia:

Primary insomnia : sleeping problem not linked with any other health condition or problems.
Secondary insomnia : sleeping troubles because of other health issues.

Causes of primary insomnia :

Stress related to significant life events (concerns about work, school, finance, family relationships, death of a loved one, shifting to a new place, divorce, job loss, etc)
Surroundings (light, noise, temperature)
Changes in sleep schedule (jetlag, night shift)

Causes of secondary insomnia :

Mental health issues like depression, anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder.
Pain or discomfort at night
Medications (certain antidepressants aur medications for asthma, blood pressure, pain, allergy or cold)
Sleep related disorders like sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome.

ANXIETY AND INSOMNIA

According to Australia’s sleep health foundation, anxiety and working are the leading cause of insomnia. Short term anxiety can be caused due to worrying frequently about the same specific events, work, relationships, etc. This anxiety usually goes away when the issue is resolved and are sleep returns back to normal.

WHAT CAN WE DO ?

Acute insomnia may not need treatment. Lifestyle changes and good sleeping habits helps us fight and prevent it.

If it’s caused due to stressful events, it is better to share them with someone. Sharing our feelings always helps us feel less stressful and light. Infact, when we share, we tend to find solutions which we were not able to think of. The person might help us find our way back. Talk to someone you trust and rely on. If you don’t want to talk to them, you can also talk to people on some apps like WeHeal. It is an app available on Android, where you can share whatever you are feeling, anonymously. You can share your issues through open letters or talk privately on personal chats. You will always be anonymous. The app has many healers, who are basically the users. The healers will read your open letters and reply to them with possible solutions. You can vent or even confess anything. You can discuss any issue related to work, studies, career, relationships, family, disease. You can also help someone with any advice related to their issues. You can download the WeHeal app https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.weheal.weheal

Good sleeping habits like : going to bed at the same time daily, no use of phone or laptop for at least an hour before sleeping. Follow relaxing routine before bed like reading a book, listening to soft music or taking a bath before going to sleep. Drink warm milk or herbal tea before sleeping. Don’t drink caffeinated drinks before going to sleep.
Exercise daily. Never exercise just before going to bed. You can exercise either in the morning or at least 3-4 hours before sleep.
Meditation is also one of the most helpful way. It calms our mind and relaxes our body. You can find meditation commentary or music online and even on the WeHeal app, along with more features of happiness quiz, mini patience game and inspirational stories and quotes.

Know more about WeHeal here – https://youtu.be/Ei3ooL2nblg

https://youtu.be/ybLLVFma2Gg

Insomnia is not just a small thing. It is a real sleeping disorder and is totally treatable. The above given methods are helpful in preventing insomnia. It’s important to take professional help if you are dealing with chronic insomnia, or if the above mentioned methods are not becoming helpful to cope with even the acute insomnia.

Getting help against bullying online

Over 1 million young people are affected by bullying every year. When someone intentionally does or says something hurtful and keep doing it even when you tell them to stop show them that it’s making you upset, that’s bullying. There are some common types of bullying :

Physical bullying : it is harming someone or someone’s thing in a physical way (hitting, tripping, kicking or breaking another person’s thing)
Verbal bullying : it is harming someone with spoken or written words such as name-calling, writing hurtful comments, threatening someone, making rude or inappropriate comments.
Emotional bullying : harming someone by trying to damage their reputation or relationship by ignoring or excluding them, spreading rumours and embarrassing them, controlling the person to do what the bully wants.
Cyber bullying : cyber bullying is harming someone using technology such as social media, e-mail, posts or text messages. Targeting you online and often anonymously. It can include posting inappropriate photos, sending threatening messages which can ruin their image or even creating a fake account.
Racist Bullying : bullying someone because of their skin colour, race, ethnicity or culture.
Sexist bullying : when someone repeatedly harms or make comments on person of opposite gender intentionally just because they are not behaving as per the stereotypical social norms decided for their gender.
Homophobic bullying : when someone bullies you based on your sexual orientation. A person does not necessarily have to be lesbian, gay or bisexual to experience such bullying. They can be a victim even if they are just different from others.

Bullying can make a person feel worthless, lonely, anxious, frustrated, etc. Which can lead a person to isolation and can destroy their confidence and self esteem. Bullying can even lead to suicidal behaviour and many mental health problems like depression,anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and eating disorders. It’s really important to fight it. Ignoring it and suffering it alone will not make it go away or do any good to you. Share it with your parents or someone trusted. You can even get help through various helplines.

Bullying can take a toll on mental health. It’s really important to share your problem with someone. They may help you get through it. If you don’t know what to do, then you can take help online. You can discuss it on an app called WeHeal. It is a a social app available on Android. It provides a platform where people can share and discuss their problems and feelings and find solution for them. You can discuss your problems anonymously through open letters. The healers who are basically the users of the app provide you answers to your situations. You can even talk personally to the pillar of your choice if you don’t feel like discussing your problem openly.

You can also discuss other problems related to issues like peer pressure, studies, relationships, career, love, etc. Since the app keeps you anonymous, it becomes easy for you to share your problems without the fear of being judged. If you don’t have someone to lean on or share what you’re going through, you can rely to this app. Anonymous chat feature will help you to talk personally about your situation. There are also short inspirational stories, quotes and experiences written by the users which may encourage you.

Bullying is a serious problem that can dramatically affect a person. It’s really important to share what you’re facing. No one needs to be the victim of bullying. Things will be fine if one gains courage to face and fight them. Also if you’re witnessing someone being bullied, stand against it and discourage the act. Everyone deserves to live in a safe environment and no one has the right to snatch it away. Bullying thrives on silence and sillence must be broken.

Effective ways to help someone being at home during lockdown

The lockdown has brought our life to a pause. Some are working from home, some are doing nothing except netflix and chill. Even that has become boring now. Staying at home has made us feel agitated. Some of us are feeling lonely and anxious, wishing it to end soon. Well, You’re not alone if you’re feeling this way. But watching frontline workers risking their lives to save others has motivated some of us to help others without going out of our home. Reaching out to help others can infact prosper our own mental health. Helping others in such crisis, also helps us to a great extent. We feel more positive and happy when we help others. It helps in reducing stress.
So, now the big question arises – how can we do that when we’re stuck at home? We can’t do something as big as medical personnel, but even our small acts can have a great Impact on others. Simply reaching out to people can make a big difference.

“what I can do is offer myself, wholehearted and present, to walk with the people I love through the fear and the mess. That’s all any of us can do. That’s what we’re here for.” – Shauna Niequist

Many people are facing negative consequences on their mental health during pandemic. Help them by talking to them and giving them all the support they need. You may know many people in your social circle, who are facing loneliness or anxiety. Call them and ask how they are doing. Give others your time. This will help both of you to cope up with the lockdown. Even such little things can put a smile on other’s face.
Help someone with their problems. Use your knowledge and experience to help other.

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” – Steve Maraboli

Sometimes people just want someone to listen to them understand them. Many people are going through stressful situations in their life especially during the time of corona virus pandemic. Give them your support, advice, solution or whatever they are in need of. You can do this through various online sites or apps. One of the apps is WeHeal.

WeHeal is an Android app which aims to help people heal. The services provided by the app justifies the name. This app allows people to anonymously share their problems through open letters. The healers will reply to these open letters. People here can confess something or can talk if they need emotional support. They can also ask help if they need to deal with loneliness, helplessness, which are becoming common during the outbreak. People can also discuss problems relating to issues like studies, career, relationships, love, etc. People who are burdened by problems and need someone to listen and care, and make them feel light and happy, can take help from this app. The healers on the WeHeal app (who are the users) provide solutions to their problems. People can have one to one personal chats with the healers where they can talk about your problems with them. You can become that healer who will be helping these people with your support, understanding and experience. People can be helped as sometimes they just want someone to motivate them and make them feel appreciated and loved. It becomes easier to deal with problems when people have someone who understands them. You can be that someone. You can also write encouraging short stories and quotes.

“At the end of the day, it’s not about what you have or what you have accomplished, it’s about people you have lifted up, who you have made better. It’s about what you have given back.” – Denzel Washington

You can donate food in food Banks. You can take permission on government sites to do the good deed. The government and many other organisations are also giving opportunities to help others while sitting at home.

People are feeling helpless during the time of lockdown, and this gives us all the opportunity to help them. Helping others may not make any difference in the world, but it may make a difference in that person’s life.

Feeling sad? Here are 5 things you can do

No matter how hard we try, it’s impossible to control emotions, and sadness is one of them. There can be many reasons to feel sad,

Loss of someone or something we loved
Fight with someone close
Problems at home, workplace, school etc
When someone we love is sad
When things don’t work as per our expectations
Illness
Missing someone, etc.

There are many more causes, different for everyone.
Unhappy events and stressful situations makes us feel this way. As humans, it is normal for us to feel sad sometimes. It is a normal emotion, just like happiness, anger,fear. These feelings are never permanent, unlike long term sadness which is a symptom of depression.

5 THINGS WE CAN DO :

Go out for a walk or run : walking or running help us to shed out negativity. You can do other physical activities too, like exercise, or play any sports you like, or go to a gym, if you enjoy that. Physical activities helps body to release endorphins. Endorphins are the feel-good hormones. They help us lift our mood. Try to do these things in a natural environment.
Cry it out or write it down: it’s OK to cry and in fact it only helps us. Crying has a soothing effect and helps us to calm ourself . It also releases oxytocin and endorphins, which makes us feel good and helps reduce pain. You can even write what you are feeling. Writing helps a lot. Write everything you are feeling. You will feel a load off yourself.
Share your feelings with someone : talk to someone you trust, who will comfort you and listen to you instead of judging you. Talking to someone is one of the best things you can do. It helps you to release what you have bottled up. If you don’t have anyone to talk about it or you fear that they will judge you, then you can talk on any app. I know an app that can help you with this purpose. It is the WeHeal app. It’s available on Android. This app helps you discuss your feelings anonymously either openly through open letters or by talking personally to the healers of the app. The healers are the users of the app reply to your open letters with probable solutions. They listen to your problems, understand them and help you go through it. You can discuss anything on this app, whether its about issues like heartbreak, studies, career, relationships, love or any other problem, or even confessing anything. The app ensures the safety of the users as no one can take screenshot or screen record your chat. Talking to someone helps you to release pent up emotions and make you feel better.

Meditation and breathing exercise : while you’re reading this, give it a pause and take a long deep breath. Meditation and deep breathing helps your mind and body to release stress and other negative emotions like sadness. It helps to calm down and relax. The WeHeal app also provides meditation sessions to help you relax. It also has happiness quiz to detect mood and a mini game to improve patience.
Do do something that makes you happy : do something that you love, maybe any hobby, or watch or listen to anything you love. I personally watch my all-time favourite friends and the office or some cheesy rom-com. Treat yourself with love and care. Dress up and hang out with friends or family if you love that. Even give them a hug. Hugging someone health release oxytocin which is associated with happiness and helps release stress. If you don’t have anyone to hug someone, then give a tight hug to yourself. It works and it will make you feel happy. Even playing with animals help making you happy. Volunteering helping others also makes us happy. You can even help people to heal on WeHeal app, by becoming a healer and helping others through their problems with your support, understanding and experience.

Whatever the reason maybe, just remember that things will get better. Healing takes time sometimes. It is never impossible to find happiness amidst of bad times. Focus on positive things and remember the good times. Be grateful for that. When we appreciate the good things, the sad ness becomes smaller. It’s OK to experience sadness to teach us the value of happiness. Remember there is no Joy without sadness.

Things to help you cope with depression apart from councelling

Depression makes one feel hopeless, like life will never be the same again. But it’s not true. Depression is totally treatable. But for that one doesn’t need to be ashamed in seeking help. It’s not your fault that you have been facing all this. It was not your choice, so why should you be ashamed. People who don’t have knowledge about mental health, say all type of things and judge others. What they say or think is their problem, that shouldn’t stop anyone from taking help. Depression has symptoms like:

Hopelessness and helplessness
Excessive guilt and sadness
Anger or frustration
Trouble sleeping (either too much or too little)
Changes in appetite (overwriting or not eating anything)
Loss of interest in activities that you used to enjoy
Changes in body weight
Tiredness and fatigue
Trouble concentrating
Inability to think clearly
Agitation, restlessness and irritability
greatly slowed behaviour
Increased mood swings
Feelings of worthlessness
Suicidal thoughts

Your symptoms can become worse if you don’t take timely help. Time does not have the power to heal depression. Getting treated can make things better.

The treatment for depression usually includes therapy a combination of therapy and medication. Along with therapy, there are some other things that one can opt for. These will not cure your Depression but will help you recover faster and make it easier for you to manage and cope with your symptoms. These are:

Talk to someone trusted : there is nothing wrong in sharing what you feel and asking for help. You need to believe that you are not a burden on someone who loves you and care for you. All the want is your well being. It’s really important to communicate your feelings with others. Sometimes we fear that people will judge us for feeling how we feel. Don’t talk to such people who react negatively, ok talk to someone on an app called WeHeal. It is a social app with an intention to help people heal. Anyone can share anything on this app. You can confess or share whatever you are feeling through open letters. You can discuss your problems here with the healers of this app. The healers are the users of this app. They will reply to your open letters with solutions and ways to cope with your problems. You can even have one to one chat with them if you don’t want to discuss your situation and your feelings openly. No one can take screenshot or screen record your chat. It really helps to talk to someone who understands us and talks to us without judging us.

Exercising : exercises proves to be one of the best way to cope with depression. It’s hard to have energy to even get out of bed during depression, but once you find the motivation, the effects will be amazing. Even a half an hour walk or a run does wonders. The reason behind this is that exercising makes our body release endorphins which are the feel-good hormones. They reduce the perception of pain and trigger positive feelings. The WeHeal app has inspirational quotes and short stories and some real life experiences which may encourage and motivate you.

A healthy diet : eat a balanced diet and never skip meal. Eat food rich in Omega 3 fatty acid, proteins, and healthy fats.
Stay away from toxic people : it’s always better to stay away from negative and toxic people who do nothing but judge you. Spend time with family and friends who understand, motivate and support you.
Avoid alcohol and drugs
Meditation : meditation helps you settle your mind which lifts mood. It helps to make your mind calm and relax your body. The WeHeal app also has guided meditation sessions. The app also includes a happiness quiz and a mini game to improve patience level.

It is really important to understand that depression is not a weakness. It is an illness and just like other physical illnesses it can be treated. People think that it is easy to snap out of depression, and if they are unable to do that, they are considered weak. This is because depression is stigmatized. It’s really important to break the stigmas attached with depression and other mental health disorders. We can do it by talking about it openly and educating others about it. The WeHeal app is helping people who are not able to seek help because of these stigmas and encouraging them to fight it.

Suicidal thoughts during depression

Depression is a mental health disorder with severe consequences if not treated. It is caused by biological, psychological and social factors. It can affect a person’s ability to work, play, and enjoy a normal life. Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. There comes a point during depression when a person feels hopeless about future and that they will never find happiness again. He/she may feel that life is not worth living. They are experiencing unbearable emotional pain and may feel like a burden on everyone. They feel trapped and at that time suicide seems as the only option to escape.

WARNING SIGNS OF SUICIDE

People who are planning to commit suicide show some warning signs before executing it.

Talking about death and suicide all the time.
Symptoms of depression are getting worse (feel more sad, loss of interest, sleeping and trouble eating)
Reckless activities and life risking behaviour
Talking about hopelessness in worthlessness
Calling or visiting loved ones as if saying the last goodbye.
Looking for ways to kill themselves
Extreme mood swings
Increased consumption of alcohol or drugs
Acting anxious and agitated
Withdrawing and isolating themselves from left ones
Showing extreme anger, irritability and rage
Making a plan or gathering material for suicide (pills, weapons, rope, poison etc)
Feeling that friends and family would be better off without them
Feeling extreme guilt and shame

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, just remember there are ways to deal with them and believe that the way you’re feeling right now, will not last for long.

FEW WAYS TO REDUCE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Talk to someone about it : a suicide helpline, or get profesional help. You can also talk to someone on an app called WeHeal. It is an Android app which has a motive to help people heal. You can share your feelings anonymously in open letters aur personally talk to the healers of the app. You will be kept anonymous. The healers will reply to your open letters and provide you with non-judgemental answers. They will be supportive, understanding and caring. no one can take screenshot your screen record your chat. You can share every kind of problem on WeHeal app, whether you’re feeling helpless, hopeless and are not able to do anything about these suicidal thoughts or any other issues relating to studies, careers, relationships, Heartbreak etc. Talking to someone help you know that you’re not alone and there are people who will help you fight this.

Write it down : write down the feelings which are causing you to think of suicide and then write the things which may preventive from doing such thing.
Try meditation and deep breathing : meditation and deep breathing helps you calm down I and relax. The WeHeal app also provides meditation sessions along with happiness quiz and mini game to increase your patience.
Distract your mind : do activities that would divert your mind from suicidal thoughts. Go out with family or friends, or watch movie or listen to songs that you love.
Go out for a walk or a run. Do some physical activity (sports, exercise, yoga or anything else)
Don’t do anything that makes your mood worse
Read something encouraging : try to read something that gives you motivation. You can also find inspiring short stories and quotes on the WeHeal app.
Avoid being alone : spend as much time as you can with people whom you love. Don’t stay near toxic people who criticize or judge you.
Avoid alcohol, drugs or smoking : these things increase the risk of suicide.

Suicide may seem as the only option to escape the misery, but it is not. It’s really important to share what you’re feeling. It will release most of the stress and pressure that has been building up inside you. You may feel that this pain and unhappiness will never end, but it is important to remember that this will end soon. Depression makes us feel this way. Don’t let it rule your mind. It can be treated and solutions are found, seek help from your mental health counselor who is treating you for depression. Don’t lose hope, you will get through this.

Signs of depression

Depression is one of the most common but serious mental illness. Approx 264 million people are affected by depression worldwide. But still most of the cases of depression and not reported. This is mainly because of the stigma attached with mental health illness or that the people are not able to detect it, since they are not aware of the warning signs. People usually shrug the signs of depression, thinking that it’s temporary, and are just the effect of current circumstances or stressful situations. The difference between feeling low and the signs of depression is the intensity of it and how much persistent they are. We usually feel low when we are faced with stressful circumstances. But, when these feelings intensify, accompanied with at least 5 other symptoms of depression, and remain for two consecutive weeks or more, then it’s time to consult a mental health professional.

WARNING SIGNS OF DEPRESSION:

Feeling helpless and hopeless : feeling helpless and deprived of hope up and thinking that nothing good will happen now is one of the most common symptom of depression.
Self loathing : criticizing yourself accompanied with feelings of guilt, worthlessness, disappointment,self hate and sadness. You feel miserable all the time.
Losing interest in things you used to love : you’re not able to find joy in anything, even in the things you earlier enjoyed (any hobby, sports or even sexual activities). For instance, you loved going out with friends or playing basketball or any other hobby but now you don’t feel like doing it.
Tiredness or fatigue : you feel tired and drained all the time, like someone sucked the energy out of you. Even getting out of bed seems impossible.
Persistent sleep difficulty : excessive sleeping or sleeplessness or insomnia can be a symptom of depression (not if it’s for a day or two). Any such change in sleeping habits must be attended to.
Mood swings and uncontrollable emotions : it takes less than a second for you to change from one emotion to another. One time you are angry and then a second later you are sad or are crying, and you have no control over it.
Changes in appetite and weight : either the appetite has increased and a person starts overeating, which results in increased weight, or some may not feel hungry at all resulting in dramatic weight loss.
Trouble in concentrating : not able to focus on anything, difficulty in making decisions and not able to remember little things. Even watching TV can be difficult for them since they can’t concentrate or remember details.
Irritability, restlessness and feeling anxious : some of the people with depression may experience anger, irritation, restlessness and frustration instead of sadness or hopelessness.
Withdrawing from family and friends : slowly withdrawing themselves from family and friends may be a sign of depression.
Suicidal thoughts : talking or thinking a lot about death and suicide, or have attempted to commit suicide. Self harming behaviour should not be ignored.
Unexplained physical pain : since our mind and body are connected, we are likely to feel physical pain when struggling with mental illness. Frequent backaches, headaches, stomach pain and muscle pain without any reason may be a sign of depression.

Careless and life risking behaviour : substance abuse and other dangerous activities that may harm life.
Pessimist thoughts : viewing every event and future negatively may be one of the signs of depression.

Symptoms of depression can vary with gender and age.

Men mostly complain about tiredness and loss of interest. They are more likely to experience irritation, frustration, agitation, anger, instead of hopelessness. They are most likely to adapt to substance abuse and reckless behaviour.

Women mostly experience guilt, excessive sleeping and overeating.

Older adults focus more on physical pain than emotional pain.

Teens on the other hand mostly experience irritability, anger, agitation instead of sadness. They too experience unexplained physical pain.

Thoughts like “I am a failure”, “everything’s my fault”, “I am worthless”, “nothing will never be fine again”, “people would be better off without me” etc conquer the mind of the person with depression. Depression interferes with the person’s ability to eat, sleep, work, play and enjoy life. Depression is caused by biological (brain chemicals imbalance, abnormal activity in parts of brain, nutritional deficiencies or shrinking of brain cells), psychological and social factors, such as, past trauma or abuse, loneliness, lifestyle changes, stressful life experiences, low self esteem and substance abuse. It can also result from combination of these three factors.

COPING WITH DEPRESSION

Talk to others and share your feelings : one can feel really lonely and hopeless. Talking to others help. Spend time with people who love you and care about you. Share your feelings with someone you trust. Talk to someone who you think will understand and will not judge. If you don’t have someone are you feel like you will burden them, the you can talk to someone on an app like WeHeal. It is an Android app which aims to heal other people. You can share your feelings anonymously through open letters. The healers who are the users of the app will reply to them. You can even talk personally to the healer if you don’t want to discuss them openly. You will be kept anonymous and no one can even take a screenshot a screen record. You can confess anything or discuss any situation on this app, whether it’s about feelings of loneliness, hopelessness other issues relating to studies, careers, relationships, Heartbreak etc. The WeHeal app also provides motivational and encouraging short stories and quotes to instill inspiration.
Physical activities : exercising, running, walking or doing any other physical activity releases endorphins in your body which boosts your mood. Force yourself to get up even when it doesn’t feel like.
Eat a healthy diet : cut down sugar and refined carbs in your diet. Increase the intake of zinc and Omega 3 fatty acids in your diet as the lift up mood. Avoid alcohol, drugs or smoking.
Practice meditation, yoga and breathing techniques : please help you calm down and relax. You can practice meditation with the help of WeHeal app. It has three inbuilt modes, which provide meditation commentary, happiness quiz and a game to improve patience.

Try to convert your negative thoughts into positive : whenever you are having negative thoughts which destroy your self esteem, exchange them with a positive one.

Depression causes major changes in a person’s emotions and behaviours and has a damaging effect on their life. But depression is treatable. One should not be ashamed to ask for help. Half of the people don’t take help for depression because of the stigmas attached to the mental illness. This should be stopped soon as it can damage someone’s life. WeHeal app has taken an amazing step to normalise it and give a platform to people to talk about their problems.

Dealing with rejection

Rejection is the most common emotional hurt we face in our lives. Whether small (someone left a text on read, or did not invite us to their party) or large (rejection by parents or friends), it always hurts. Rejection is not accepting someone or something and deliberately pushing it away.

We all belong in a world where every single individual has a different personality and ideology. We desire to be with people who can agree with our thoughts and accepts us regardless of our flaws. We crave for acceptance and when someone rejects us, it ignites negative feelings of shame, sadness and grief. Rejection hurts our self esteem. We start finding faults in ourselves, blame ourselves. It’s can have adverse effect on the idea of self worth and confidence. All of us are members of a family, class and other groups with which we interact or play. As social beings we all have a need to belong to a social group for security, status, self-esteem, satisfaction of our psychological and social needs and goal achievement. When we are not accepted in these, we feel undeserving, unloved and unworthy. Rejection makes some of us feel like we are not wanted or valued. The rejection does make us feel bad, but the little monster inside our mind makes it worse. that little monster always tells us that we are not enough, and that no one will ever accept or love us. Never, I repeat, never Pay Attention To This Monster.

A 2003 study demonstrates that our brain responds to the emotional pain of rejection in a way that is similar to physical pain as the same brain areas activate both of them. This is why we feel an intense pain when we are rejected.

There are many types of rejection, but the most common are parental rejection, romantic rejection and social rejection. You can see a lot of cases of parental rejection, whether it is abandonment, neglect or hostility and aggression towards a child. A child can even feel rejected if both the parents are working and are not able to give time and attention to him/her. It is one of the most damaging rejection as it has long lasting effects. Parental rejection can destroy the self esteem of a child and can cause many mental health problems.

Social rejection happens when an individual is ignored and neglected by social groups (school, neighbourhood, college, workplace). Bullying, peer group rejection and exclusion are mostly seen in schools and colleges. Being fired or not getting the higher position that you deserved in your job also incite a feeling of rejection.

Romantic rejection is one thing that most of us face. You like someone, you ask them out but they reject you. We usually take it personally, which is wrong. Some even resort to violent and aggressive ways. Acid attacks, physical abuse, blackmailing, emotionally abusing, are some of the examples. What people need to understand is that rejection doesn’t diminish your value as a person. If we are interested in someone, it doesn’t always mean that they are interested in us and we need to accept that.

We humans have a fundamental need of security and acceptance and when it is jeopardized by rejection, we start to doubt ourselves. Rejection can cause many mental health problems, such as, anxiety, stress, eating disorders, self harming behaviour, suicidal thoughts and even depression. If a person has faced multiple devastating rejections since childhood, it can lead to fear of rejection, also called rejection sensitivity. The causes can be parental rejection, neglect, physical and verbal abuse, bullying, etc. This can sometimes force the person to isolate himself and not connect with others. It can even lead to loneliness and self harming behaviour which can further open gates to depression, borderline personality disorder and social anxiety. Rejection sensitive people experience higher degree of psychological distress when rejected. For this one may need to seek help of a councellor.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION ?

Rejection is something we all face and we need to accept it and learn to deal with it. There Are Few Ways That Could Help You :

Never take rejections personally : don’t blame yourself, blame the circumstances. Just because one person didn’t accept you, doesn’t mean other people won’t. If you think that you did something wrong, then try to make it right. Rejection teaches us to not make the same mistakes again and again.
Talk to someone : share what you are feeling with someone who understands you and loves you (parents or friends). We all need to feel wanted and loved. If you feel rejected call someone who values you and who will be happy to hear your voice. If you don’t have someone to share your feelings with, then you can take help of a app called WeHeal. WeHeal is a social app which aims at helping people to heal. We all go through such phases in life when we feel sad, rejected and stressed. WeHeal app provides your platform where you can share what ever you are feeling through open letters or personal chats. The healers or the users of the app will reply to your open letter with a solution . If you don’t want to discuss your problem openly, then you can use the personal chat feature. Even if you are having other problems like issues related to career, studies, relationship etc. or are not able to cope with any other stressful situation, you can take help of this app.
Surround yourself with supportive people or even animals : spend time with people who love you and make you feel good. It makes you realise that you still have people and things that accept you and love you. Pets help you ease the negative feelings of rejection.
Convert the negative thoughts into positive affirmations : instead of saying that you are worthless or unloved, say that you are loved and one person or an incident can not define you.
Indulge in physical activity : Go for a walk or run, or do exercise. It releases endorphin – the feel good hormone.
Meditate your stress away : meditation helps you to calm down and cope with stress. The WeHeal app provides you with meditation sessions. There are three inbuilt modes in the app which provide you with meditation sessions, happiness quiz that will detect your mood, and a mini game to improve your patience level.

Do something that makes you happy : do things that you enjoy and which makes you feel relaxed. You can even watch series or movie you love.
Help others : change your negative feelings into positive actions. Volunteer to help others. With WeHeal app you can help others too. You can become a healer on the app. You can provide your support and care to others in need, by understanding their problems and suggesting them solutions with the help of your experience. You can also write short inspirational stories, quotes which may encourage others.

Rejection hurts but it doesn’t mean that you’ll allow it to hold you back and criticize yourself. Don’t let it damage your self-esteem. Use rejection to improve yourself.

Why do we feel lonely ?

We are all surrounded by so many living beings, and still sometimes we feel lonely. It is a normal emotion experienced by each one of us. So if you think you are alone in feeling lonely, you are wrong.

“Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don’t care about them. You are not alone.’” — Kurt Vonnegut

We are social beings, and it is okay for us to feel lonely when we aren’t among other social beings. But, why do we feel lonely when we are surrounded by our friends and family ? It is mainly when you feel no connection with the people you are spending time. You lack meaning in the relationship with them and you mostly feel that they don’t care about you. It is really important to have strong emotional connection with the people you are surrounded with. If you don’t have that then you are likely to feel lonely. It is the quality of social relationship that matters, not the quantity. Even if a person has a lot many friends, he might feel lonely if he doesn’t connect with anyone. Even two or three close friends are enough for a person to feel special and loved. Studies say that on an average 75% of people feel lonely at some point in our lives.

The feeling of abandonment usually attacks human when they begin to cut off themselves from the species of their own circle.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” — Joseph F. Newton Men

But is this the only reason? No, it is not. There could be many other reasons , such as,

Betrayal from a friend could be the reason which eliminates the feeling of comradeship.
The feeling can also arise when you lose someone close and significant.
When you move to a new city, or shift to a new locality, you are likely to feel lonely.
It can also be when you don’t have anyone close whom you can trust and talk to.
It may also be when we are not feeling connected in a meaningful way to other people. This makes us feel like we are on our own.
Apart from this, inferiority complexes also urges people to restrain themselves from their social circle. People who have low confidence consider that they are worthless and they don’t deserve to be with other people. It is dangerous and can lead to isolation which can open way two serious mental health problems.

Even celebrities who are so loved and appreciated by everyone suffer from loneliness. Even though they are constantly surrounded by people who are looking to appease them and do anything for them, the feeling of loneliness couldn’t spare them. Marilyn Monroe and Madhubala, the ethereal beauties, are acclaimed to be living a life of void and isolation despite having a great fan following.

Loneliness has a potential to harm mental health to a great extent. Though the feeling is usually temporary, but if it remains for a week or so, it can develop into depression, anxiety, and can crumble people’s self esteem. Loneliness can hit you at anytime. Person dealing with loneliness may feel empty and meaningless. They may feel like no one is there for them, anyone who can understand, help or support them. They feel like they have no one to tell how they are feeling.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO OVERCOME THIS FEELING ? HOW CAN WE COPE WITH LONELINESS ?

Talk to someone about how you feel : expressing the feeling is the beginning of releasing it. There is no shame in talking about how you feel. If you don’t have anyone talk about it then take help of some apps. There is one app called WeHeal. It is an amazing social app which is available on Android. The app provides a platform where people can share and express what they are feeling, talk about it and ask for help. Whether it’s about your feeling of loneliness or any problem about issues like studies, careers, relationships, or heartbreak, you can talk about it there. You can write open letters on the app, to which the healers will reply and provide you with ways to get through it. You can even talk personally to the healers. No one can take any screenshots or even screen record, which makes it safe to share whatever that has been going on in your mind. The healers are the users of the app who will understand you, support you and will not judge you.

Hangout with like-minded people : stay with people who share similar interests and belief as you or the one’s who accepts you the way you are and make you feel welcomed, loved and cared for. Stop Hangout with people you don’t feel good with. You can feel lonely if you hang out with people you don’t feel connected to.
Go out and socialize at least once a week : force yourself to get out and meet people and try to make friends.
Connect with people and take care of yourself (love and believe in yourself)

“Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness.” — Harriet Goldhor Lerner
Volunteer for help someone in need : going out and helping others not only makes you happy but also connects you with others and make you feel less lonely. You can also go to any old age home and give the your time. They might be feeling lonely and your presence might cheer them up. You can also help people online on the the WeHeal app. You can become a healer on WeHeal. You can provide your support and care to others in need, my understanding their problems and suggesting them solutions with the help of your experience. You can also write short inspirational stories, quotes which may encourage others.

Spend some time with animals : animals reduce stress, anxiety and loneliness. The make us feel loved and cared for. Adopt one. If you are not ready for the responsibility of a pet, then you can volunteer at animal Shelters and spend time with them. They too feel lonely and they too need your love.
Write it down : writing down what you feel helps you to process your emotions and get a clear idea of your situation and thoughts. You feel lighter when you write it down or do a self-talk.
Physical activity : go for a run or a walk or do some exercise. When you do a physical activity, it releases endorphins which are feel good emotions.
Do something creative or something which is fun for you : do something which you think you will enjoy and feel good, whether it’s painting, gardening, arts and craft, or anything that you love.
Give yourself a reminder that it’s OK to feel lonely : life is always not fun and amazing. If these two three days were not good, doesn’t mean your whole life will remain like this. Just remember that everyday has a new beginning and it’s you who can change it.
Join a club : explore hobbies with others. Attend classes for exercise, yoga, dancing or anything you want to do.
Meditate : calm your body and meditate your worries away. You can get meditation session on the WeHeal app. There are three inbuilt modes in the app which provide you with meditation sessions, happiness quiz that will detect your mood, and a mini game to improve your patience level.

I would love to share a bonus tip that I read somewhere – put your hand over your heart when you are haunted by the feelings of loneliness, as sometimes lack of physical touch can be the reason of loneliness. It makes us feel safe and secure and helps us come down. Dr. Kristin Neff, in her book “Self-Compassion : The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself“, enumerates how our bodies register the care we give ourselves in a similar way that it registers the care we get from others through Physical touch. It can be anything, hold your face, or give tight hug to yourself or whatever that gives you comfort. Believe me, it works wonders.

It is not impossible to fight loneliness. We just need a bit of motivation, abundant hope and a fist full of self love.

Helping others without spending money

“We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” – Ronald Reagan

One of the best feelings you can get in life is when you help others. Seeing a smile on their face is much more precious than anything else. It not only does good to others but, is also beneficial for you. You feel good when you help others, and others feel good because they are getting help. It is a Win-Win situation. Doing good for others gives joy, happiness and satisfaction, which helps in reducing stress and improves emotional health. It has a positive affect on our mental health.

We all have the power to make a difference. Even small act can have a big impact on others and believe me money is not the obstruction if you want to help. We don’t always need money to help others. Kindness and generosity is more valuable than money and helping others is priceless.
The size or amount of help doesn’t matter, if your intention is good. Helping others makes us feel like our life has some purpose and meaning. It motivates us to keep moving. It gives us a perspective. And the best of all, it gives us happiness satisfaction. Even money cannot buy that feeling of satisfaction and happiness.

There are many ways to help people feel you don’t need to spend money, such as :

Volunteering at old age homes : Spend some time with them. Chat, play and have fun with them. They don’t need your money but they can do with a little visit, and your time, love, care or even a hug .
Help underprivileged children : spend time with them, tutor them and teach them good habits and hygienic lifestyle. If you can’t do this on weekdays, then spend a few hours on weekend. If you can’t give them money then give them your time. It is much more valuable than money and can bring smile on someone’s face.

Donate blood : if your healthy then donate blood. One pint of blood can save at least three lives.
Help someone with their problems : your knowledge and experience might be help to others. It’s amazing how you make others life less difficult with just your advice. For this you can use apps like WeHeal.

WeHeal is an Android app which aims to heal people. The services provided by the app justifies the name. This app allows people to anonymously share their problems through open letters. People here can confess something or can talk if they need some emotional support or if they need help to deal with a heartbreak or other issues in studies, career, relationships, etc. People who are burdened by problems and need someone to listen and care, and make them feel light and happy, take help from this app. The healers on the WeHeal app (who are the users) provide solutions to their problems. People can have one to one personal chats with the healers where they can talk about your problems with them. You can be that healer who will be helping these people with your support, understanding and experience. People can be helped as sometimes they just want someone to listen to them, understand them and make them feel appreciated. Money is not always the solution. People sometimes just need support to get through the difficult situations. It becomes easier to deal with problems when people have someone who understands them. You can be that someone.

Donate your perfectly fine items : you can donate your books, clothes, toys or any other item (furniture, utensils) which is now of no use to you. Instead of throwing them away, give them to someone who can utilise them.
Do random acts of kindness : There are so many things that you can do which want cost you anything. Such as – Leave letters of encouragement on people’s cars or doors, donate your birthday gifts to an orphanage, help elderly people in grocery shops or give them your seat in any public transport (believe me, it feels amazing when you get their blessings and see a smile on their face) , do favors without asking or expecting anything in return, offer water to people during a hot summer day, call a loved one and ask about their well being, compliment and thank people around you (it will make the day and boost their confidence), feed stray dogs and keep water for other animals and birds, etc.

Encourage and inspire others : say something encouraging two people around you. It will not only motivate them, but also make them confident and happy. On the WeHeal app, you can write short inspirational stories, quotes and experiences which may encourage others, inspire them and make their day.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” – John Holmes

Volunteer at an animal shelter : if you are an animal lover, then go help the animals in need. Shelters may not have enough workers to take care of the animals. Even the animals just want to spend some play time with humans. They need and deserve your love and care. Adopt instead of buying . Help them get out of their cages.

Helping others is the secret to a happy and healthy life. It makes you feel more positive and amazing. Our words and actions have the power to motivate, encourage, lift others and make them smile. It can give them hope. Money can’t do that. So go ahead and lend your hand to others. Be kind and spread happiness.