Effective ways to help someone being at home during lockdown

The lockdown has brought our life to a pause. Some are working from home, some are doing nothing except netflix and chill. Even that has become boring now. Staying at home has made us feel agitated. Some of us are feeling lonely and anxious, wishing it to end soon. Well, You’re not alone if you’re feeling this way. But watching frontline workers risking their lives to save others has motivated some of us to help others without going out of our home. Reaching out to help others can infact prosper our own mental health. Helping others in such crisis, also helps us to a great extent. We feel more positive and happy when we help others. It helps in reducing stress.
So, now the big question arises – how can we do that when we’re stuck at home? We can’t do something as big as medical personnel, but even our small acts can have a great Impact on others. Simply reaching out to people can make a big difference.

“what I can do is offer myself, wholehearted and present, to walk with the people I love through the fear and the mess. That’s all any of us can do. That’s what we’re here for.” – Shauna Niequist

Many people are facing negative consequences on their mental health during pandemic. Help them by talking to them and giving them all the support they need. You may know many people in your social circle, who are facing loneliness or anxiety. Call them and ask how they are doing. Give others your time. This will help both of you to cope up with the lockdown. Even such little things can put a smile on other’s face.
Help someone with their problems. Use your knowledge and experience to help other.

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” – Steve Maraboli

Sometimes people just want someone to listen to them understand them. Many people are going through stressful situations in their life especially during the time of corona virus pandemic. Give them your support, advice, solution or whatever they are in need of. You can do this through various online sites or apps. One of the apps is WeHeal.

WeHeal is an Android app which aims to help people heal. The services provided by the app justifies the name. This app allows people to anonymously share their problems through open letters. The healers will reply to these open letters. People here can confess something or can talk if they need emotional support. They can also ask help if they need to deal with loneliness, helplessness, which are becoming common during the outbreak. People can also discuss problems relating to issues like studies, career, relationships, love, etc. People who are burdened by problems and need someone to listen and care, and make them feel light and happy, can take help from this app. The healers on the WeHeal app (who are the users) provide solutions to their problems. People can have one to one personal chats with the healers where they can talk about your problems with them. You can become that healer who will be helping these people with your support, understanding and experience. People can be helped as sometimes they just want someone to motivate them and make them feel appreciated and loved. It becomes easier to deal with problems when people have someone who understands them. You can be that someone. You can also write encouraging short stories and quotes.

“At the end of the day, it’s not about what you have or what you have accomplished, it’s about people you have lifted up, who you have made better. It’s about what you have given back.” – Denzel Washington

You can donate food in food Banks. You can take permission on government sites to do the good deed. The government and many other organisations are also giving opportunities to help others while sitting at home.

People are feeling helpless during the time of lockdown, and this gives us all the opportunity to help them. Helping others may not make any difference in the world, but it may make a difference in that person’s life.

Why do we feel lonely ?

We are all surrounded by so many living beings, and still sometimes we feel lonely. It is a normal emotion experienced by each one of us. So if you think you are alone in feeling lonely, you are wrong.

“Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don’t care about them. You are not alone.’” — Kurt Vonnegut

We are social beings, and it is okay for us to feel lonely when we aren’t among other social beings. But, why do we feel lonely when we are surrounded by our friends and family ? It is mainly when you feel no connection with the people you are spending time. You lack meaning in the relationship with them and you mostly feel that they don’t care about you. It is really important to have strong emotional connection with the people you are surrounded with. If you don’t have that then you are likely to feel lonely. It is the quality of social relationship that matters, not the quantity. Even if a person has a lot many friends, he might feel lonely if he doesn’t connect with anyone. Even two or three close friends are enough for a person to feel special and loved. Studies say that on an average 75% of people feel lonely at some point in our lives.

The feeling of abandonment usually attacks human when they begin to cut off themselves from the species of their own circle.

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” — Joseph F. Newton Men

But is this the only reason? No, it is not. There could be many other reasons , such as,

Betrayal from a friend could be the reason which eliminates the feeling of comradeship.
The feeling can also arise when you lose someone close and significant.
When you move to a new city, or shift to a new locality, you are likely to feel lonely.
It can also be when you don’t have anyone close whom you can trust and talk to.
It may also be when we are not feeling connected in a meaningful way to other people. This makes us feel like we are on our own.
Apart from this, inferiority complexes also urges people to restrain themselves from their social circle. People who have low confidence consider that they are worthless and they don’t deserve to be with other people. It is dangerous and can lead to isolation which can open way two serious mental health problems.

Even celebrities who are so loved and appreciated by everyone suffer from loneliness. Even though they are constantly surrounded by people who are looking to appease them and do anything for them, the feeling of loneliness couldn’t spare them. Marilyn Monroe and Madhubala, the ethereal beauties, are acclaimed to be living a life of void and isolation despite having a great fan following.

Loneliness has a potential to harm mental health to a great extent. Though the feeling is usually temporary, but if it remains for a week or so, it can develop into depression, anxiety, and can crumble people’s self esteem. Loneliness can hit you at anytime. Person dealing with loneliness may feel empty and meaningless. They may feel like no one is there for them, anyone who can understand, help or support them. They feel like they have no one to tell how they are feeling.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO OVERCOME THIS FEELING ? HOW CAN WE COPE WITH LONELINESS ?

Talk to someone about how you feel : expressing the feeling is the beginning of releasing it. There is no shame in talking about how you feel. If you don’t have anyone talk about it then take help of some apps. There is one app called WeHeal. It is an amazing social app which is available on Android. The app provides a platform where people can share and express what they are feeling, talk about it and ask for help. Whether it’s about your feeling of loneliness or any problem about issues like studies, careers, relationships, or heartbreak, you can talk about it there. You can write open letters on the app, to which the healers will reply and provide you with ways to get through it. You can even talk personally to the healers. No one can take any screenshots or even screen record, which makes it safe to share whatever that has been going on in your mind. The healers are the users of the app who will understand you, support you and will not judge you.

Hangout with like-minded people : stay with people who share similar interests and belief as you or the one’s who accepts you the way you are and make you feel welcomed, loved and cared for. Stop Hangout with people you don’t feel good with. You can feel lonely if you hang out with people you don’t feel connected to.
Go out and socialize at least once a week : force yourself to get out and meet people and try to make friends.
Connect with people and take care of yourself (love and believe in yourself)

“Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness.” — Harriet Goldhor Lerner
Volunteer for help someone in need : going out and helping others not only makes you happy but also connects you with others and make you feel less lonely. You can also go to any old age home and give the your time. They might be feeling lonely and your presence might cheer them up. You can also help people online on the the WeHeal app. You can become a healer on WeHeal. You can provide your support and care to others in need, my understanding their problems and suggesting them solutions with the help of your experience. You can also write short inspirational stories, quotes which may encourage others.

Spend some time with animals : animals reduce stress, anxiety and loneliness. The make us feel loved and cared for. Adopt one. If you are not ready for the responsibility of a pet, then you can volunteer at animal Shelters and spend time with them. They too feel lonely and they too need your love.
Write it down : writing down what you feel helps you to process your emotions and get a clear idea of your situation and thoughts. You feel lighter when you write it down or do a self-talk.
Physical activity : go for a run or a walk or do some exercise. When you do a physical activity, it releases endorphins which are feel good emotions.
Do something creative or something which is fun for you : do something which you think you will enjoy and feel good, whether it’s painting, gardening, arts and craft, or anything that you love.
Give yourself a reminder that it’s OK to feel lonely : life is always not fun and amazing. If these two three days were not good, doesn’t mean your whole life will remain like this. Just remember that everyday has a new beginning and it’s you who can change it.
Join a club : explore hobbies with others. Attend classes for exercise, yoga, dancing or anything you want to do.
Meditate : calm your body and meditate your worries away. You can get meditation session on the WeHeal app. There are three inbuilt modes in the app which provide you with meditation sessions, happiness quiz that will detect your mood, and a mini game to improve your patience level.

I would love to share a bonus tip that I read somewhere – put your hand over your heart when you are haunted by the feelings of loneliness, as sometimes lack of physical touch can be the reason of loneliness. It makes us feel safe and secure and helps us come down. Dr. Kristin Neff, in her book “Self-Compassion : The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself“, enumerates how our bodies register the care we give ourselves in a similar way that it registers the care we get from others through Physical touch. It can be anything, hold your face, or give tight hug to yourself or whatever that gives you comfort. Believe me, it works wonders.

It is not impossible to fight loneliness. We just need a bit of motivation, abundant hope and a fist full of self love.

LONELINESS DURING LOCKDOWN

Stuck in your home alone? Feeling lonely while social distancing? Missing your family and friends? Well, you are not alone. Millions of us are experiencing this during the coronavirus pandemic. Being apart from family and friends for such a long time has become difficult for all of us. When the lockdown was ordered, I myself didn’t get the chance to get back to my family and stay with them. I tried to, but all the interstate transportation was cancelled. It’s been more than a month now that I have been living in my flat all by myself. I am really grateful for the technology in our times that is helping us to stay connected with our loved ones. Zoom calls, skyping, WhatsApp calling etc. have greatly helped us to go through this daily. But it’s not the same. Explain difficult to adapt to this “new normal”. I always loved the “me time” as it helped me to clear my head, explore myself and love myself more, but this much amount of me time is doing no good. Well, excess of everything is bad. I’m now realising how free I was.

Missing those get togethers, chit chats while eating together and outing with friends and family is something we all are experiencing. These feelings are completely normal but can immensely affect our mental health. This feeling of loneliness can increase stress and anxiety and can be worse for someone who is dealing with depression. Loneliness can give way to further more feelings like helplessness, sadness, hopelessness,etc. Yes, the circumstances have affected our loneliness, but the thoughts prevailing in our minds and how we are handling it, affects it more than the circumstances itself. These thoughts determine our loneliness. These negative thoughts increases our insecurity and make us feel unlovable and unwanted. These thoughts makes it more difficult for us to reach out and call others for help, increasing the feeling of loneliness. We can reduce our loneliness to great extent if we deal with these negative thoughts. We can do this by making ourselves believe that we will get over these hard times and that things will get better.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO?

Communicate regularly with your friends and family through calls, video calls, and sms.
If you are feeling anxious, helpless and suffocated , talk about it with your friend or a family member you trust. If you feel that you may make them worried about you, then you can also take help of apps like WeHeal.

http://tinyurl.com/weheal

WeHeal is an Android app which aims to heal people just as the names suggests. The services provided by the app justifies the name. This app allows you to anonymously share your problems through open letters. The healers (who are the users) provide solutions to your problems. You can even have one to one personal chats with the healers where you can talk about your problems with them. You will be kept anonymous. No one can even take screenshots or do screen recording, which makes it safer to have your chat. It becomes easier to deal with problems when you have someone who understands them. Whether you need to confess something or you need some emotional support or if you need help to deal with a heartbreak or are having issues in studies, career, relationships or are burdened by problems, need someone to listen and care, and make you feel light and happy, you can take help from this app. If you’re dealing with overwhelming feelings of loneliness, stress or anxiety, it’s important for you to know that help is available to you. The app also has three inbuilt modes which provide you with meditation sessions, happiness quiz that will detect your mood, and a mini game to improve your patience level. There are also 6 inspirational stories, quotes and experiences written by the users which may encourage you.

Stay away from stress: Don’t make yourself indulge in activities that will give you more stress. Limit watching news and reading about the pandemic as you may feel overwhelmed.
Practice yoga, exercise and basic workout routines. Our mind and body are connected and that is why physical health will contribute a lot to our mental health. Go for little walks either on your roof or around your neighbourhood.
If you are feeling useless, like you have lost your purpose, find a new hobby (painting, dancing, writing, etc) , online courses, or apply for any internship. This may provide you with a sense of purpose.
Play online games with friends and family or even strangers.
Do something that makes you happy. Staying away from things and people that irritates you and make you feel bad is the best option, not just during the pandemic but in every stage of your life.
Distract distract yourself from the negativity. Start reading a new book, watch movies of the genre you love or start a new series. Binge watch friends or the office if you want to feel stressfree. If you if you haven’t watched any of this, then now is the best time to start. Watch TED talks or other interesting videos on YouTube.
Practice gratitude : even in midst of great difficulties, we can always find things for which we are truly grateful. Appreciate and thank every person who are helping you through this situation, your family, friends and the doctors and nurses and every other person who are risking their lives just to save ours. Give gratitude for every little thing that you are blessed to have. Studies have proved that when you thank others you love yourself more, you feel happy and contented with yourself.
Take at least 8 hours of sleep.
Help others : you may know other people who’s mental health is affected negatively during this pandemic. Talk to them and provide your support to them. Through WeHeal app, you can even help other people by replying to them and helping them get through their tough situations through your experience. It is proved that we feel more positive when we help someone. We feel happy about what we are doing and that we are making a difference in someone’s life.

It can be extremely difficult to stay positive with so much going around you, but it’s not impossible to do so. This coronavirus pandemic is filled with challenges and uncertainty. We have no idea when all of this will get over. All we can do is deal courageously with it. It’s a great time to explore ourself more and learn some new things. This time period has also made us realise the importance of our family, friends and our freedom, which we take for granted. This will get over soon. Just remember that a dark night can never defeat a sunrise.